You have nothing to fear.
kingcheddarxvii:

bemyghoulfriend:

dog

He Has Fallen

kingcheddarxvii:

bemyghoulfriend:

dog

He Has Fallen

You don’t have to be pretty like her. You can be pretty like you.
One of the most freeing things I have ever heard (via firecannotkillabadwolf)

validx2:

I hate them phone sex commercials like i dont wanna hear yo damn voice i wanna fuck hoe

I’m an adult, but not like a real adult
anyone between the ages of 18 and 25 (via prettyboystyles)
jewish-problems:

"wait, so do you celebrate both?" "not even a tree?"

jewish-problems:

"wait, so do you celebrate both?" "not even a tree?"

weedjoke420:

what am i gonna be for halloween???? an emotional wreck probably

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)